Mental health. Many think they understand it. Few do.
Mental health. Many think they understand it. Few do.
Mental health is still a stigma for some reason – whether we want to admit it or not. Okay, well-intentioned HR teams may offer “wellness” initiatives or send the odd caution about burnout.
But let’s get real.
How many of you would tell your boss you need a sick day for “anxiety”? Would you admit you’re making a holiday request because of “burnout”? Would you tell colleagues you’re taking an hour off for a therapy session?
Probably not. And that’s crazy if you think about it.
Why share when you can suck it up?
Don’t get me wrong. Businesses have done well to build more supportive workplaces – especially since COVID.
But we still have a latent “suck-it-up” culture. Where productivity is king and vulnerability is weakness. I don’t think there is a conscious bias, I believe people want to understand and be supportive. Yet people still avoid speaking openly.
This is silly when you consider how pervasive mental health issues are. According to the WHO, 1 in 7 people in Europe live with a mental health condition. Employees in particular are struggling, with 65% of Europeans and 56% of North Americans reporting depression.
Think about that a second. The majority of employees suffer from depression. And I’m sure the numbers are even higher when you account people who wouldn’t know (or want to admit) that they’re suffering.
The only way to crush a stigma is conversation. So here’s my contribution. I want to talk about anxiety – one of the most misunderstood mental health issues out there.
The good anxiety
When you think about anxiety, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Running late for work? Waiting on exam results? Nerves before a job interview or first date? Fear of flying?
That anxiety is healthy because it’s rational. It is based on something real. As unpleasant as that feeling may be, we need it to keep ourselves out of trouble. For example, our caveman ancestors would’ve used it to defend themselves against predators. I guess we use it to anticipate uncomfortable situations and push us to act.
Now, we may feel anxious for irrational reasons but it is still connected to something real. When you get off the plane, the anxiety about plane crashing goes away. When you finish the job interview, you relax. There’s clear cause and effect. That’s normal.
The bad and ugly anxiety
But sometimes anxiety can malfunction. It strikes for no good reason, at random. Your mouth goes dry. Your muscles cramp. Your tongue swells. Your body stops working. You can’t eat, drink or go to the toilet. You can’t relax. You can’t concentrate. You can’t think about anything except your anxiety. You’re locked in tension and struggle to muster the strength to even call for help.
That is how I felt during my (luckily) few anxiety attacks. Remember that anxiety attacks are different to panic attacks – these are when your heart beats fast, you probably burst into tears, and there’s usually a trigger. These normally pass. And actually, the release of emotion can be therapeutic in the long run.
Anxiety is a different beast and – based on my experiences – I have no idea how anybody could live with it every day. It is the sort of feeling you’d do anything to stop. Why do so many people turn to drugs or alcohol? It is to stop the agony – at least temporarily.
A common mistake is to confuse healthy anxiety – like before a job interview – with unhealthy anxiety. Unhealthy anxiety is an illness. You can’t switch it off by telling someone to “calm down” or with any other kind of reasoning. So what can you do?
The way out
There is no silver bullet for anxiety. Some go on intense regimes of medication and therapy to manage their condition and get through their days. It has never got that bad for me, which I’m thankful for.
I do have some tips to help get through an anxiety attack though. For one, if you’re around someone having an anxiety attack, do not ask them to “calm down”. It does nothing and will just make you look like Sy Ableman from A Serious Man.
Here are more tips based on my experience:
1) Breathe.
In an anxiety attack, it feels like nothing can help. But breathing does. Close your eyes. Inhale for eight seconds. Exhale for eight seconds. Over and over again. After a while, you’ll open your eyes and feel like your mind has had a full system reset. Then, your bodily functions will come back and you’ll probably feel absolutely exhausted.
2) Avoid caffeine.
Coffee will not make you feel better. I thought it would. But it really, really won’t. Sounds stupid, but I was stupid, so hope you won’t be.
3) Don’t pace.
In an anxiety attack, you’ll have an impulse to move. Walk. Do something. Anything to make the feeling pass. But moving makes it worse. You need to get into a comfortable position, stay there, and do the breathing above.
How do you avoid anxiety attacks? That might be a question for your local psychoanalyst. But we can certainly make some positive lifestyle changes. Practising strict work / life balance is one. Avoiding excessive alcohol, caffeine or drug use. And most of all, try out mindfulness.
Mindfulness is meditation without the bullshit
Take 10-15 minutes out your day to practise deep breathing and staying in the moment. Anxiety is all about worrying about the past and future. What might be and what might go wrong. In reality, everything is fine when you anchor yourself to the moment. That’s what breathing helps with.
Apps like Mindfulness App and Headspace are great. Give them a go whether you experience anxiety or not.
Why am I telling you this?
To help you better understand anxiety and make real conversations about mental health more commonplace in work contexts.
I’ve had enough with the stigma. Hopefully you have to.
Comments